"What's Next?"

"What’s next"?

A horrible question that has occupied the Lebanese daily life. It is this cold scary look you could easily define on our faces that tells you we are not safe. Every body is just worried; about himself, his family, and his friends. Not one word can explain the feeling you get inside of you every time you see the word “Breaking News” on TV, when you rush to figure out what happened, praying inside that it’s a false alarm, or at least none of your loved ones is hurt. And there is always these horrible 30 minutes that follow the news that break your nerves down; where you keep trying desperately to call the ones you care about, wondering whether they are safe or not.

I was in Beirut, sleeping in my bedroom when the phone ringing woke me up. It was too early for a Sunday morning to get a call, I answered and there was my friend, with this “tone” in his voice that you recognize immediately and realize that “something wrong has just happen, and I am about to know about it”. “Hope you are ok, how’s the situation in Tripoli?” he asked. “I’m still in Beirut Raymond, what happened?” I answered. And so, I knew about the clashes in Tripoli.

And the cycle starts, trying to call your family and friends, checking up on them, rushing to the damn TV trying to know more, using the internet to get something, and all kind of thoughts jumping into your mind. “What am I doing here? I should go and stay with my family” I said to myself, backed my things up quickly, and headed directly to Tripoli.

The sun dived into the sea, and things are finally starting to calm down a little bit in the neighborhood. I decided to go down on the streets and see what happened, and maybe talk to the people around. One thing jumps into your mind when you see the marks of the battles; the horrible memories of the Civil War. This day was the worst in Tripoli ever since the late Eighties, when the war totally destroyed the city. Asking people around, you could sense the feeling of lack of security, lack of faith, and the extreme fear of the war hitting the town again.

“OMG, it was the same as the Eighties, God have mercy on our souls” “These monsters broke into our homes and killed our loved ones” These are couple of examples of what people are saying while watching the results of Sunday’s clashes.

Getting back home, I thanked God that my family and my friends are safe, and none of them were hurt in the clashes. No one can understand this, and no one can tell what to do, or how things are going to come to an end. All what occupies your mind is the ever-lasting question “What’s next?”

This time, the answer was very fast. As I was watching LBC, the horrible word “Breaking News” appears, explosion at Achrafieh, and the cycle starts again……